clarification

Something in my brain is clarifying today.
I actually feel like today might be one of those days when I can express myself, and actually end up meaning what I say.
The English language makes sense to me again today.
I feel like it hasn’t for a while now.
I will look back through my scattered writings and only some of them will make sense, or be as grammatical as I would like them to be. Actually, today I edited things up a bit. Cleaned house around here.
It’s annoying to know that you could write in perfect grammatical and decently spelled English if only the right side of your brain got up and did something every-once-in-a-while.
Because I can, and I often do, but I often sound like a babbling idiot too.
It’s like having a split personality.
It doesn’t help that the babbler tends to come out in important, nervous-making situations. Like auditions, or talking with celebrities or professors, or other people I immensely respect. Especially when I need to write something important, like an essay, or an article on a deadline.
Then the smart girl tends to pop out when I least expect and need it. Like when I’m trying to make friends with perfectly normal people who I don’t want to talk down, or sound pretentious to.
I have a theory. It is backed up by my boyfriends observation of me.
We think that whatever the brain slug is doing in the right (logical) side of my brain, it manages to do it mostly when affected by my emotions.
So I will literally have good days… and bad ones.
It seems my days are often triggered by sense-memory experiences. Moments where I experience something, sensually (in the sensory, not the sexy, sense), that remind me of another, happier time, and plunge me into yet another wacky mindset.
If you weren’t already aware at this point, the brain is a really, really, really weird thing. I would seriously recommend not having one, if at all possible