I have been spring cleaning. Literally. No clever title reference in that title.
We are spending our weekends getting rid of stuff we were hoarding during our rather lengthy stay at hotel unemployment.
Also, we have figured out that if we want to move to a nicer neighborhood we will have to downsize a little.
Which I am cool with – getting rid of stuff is hard, but feels good. Especially when you’re clever (like us) and know how to make money for your troubles.
I have been dreaming of getting a retro styled bike (like this one here I saw in my favourite new magazine Blueprint) and riding down the boardwalk I soon hope to be living next to.
Have I mentioned that I’m scared of riding my bike on the streets here? I am. I am wimpy. I find bikes adorable, I love them, but I am frightened of being crushed by trucks when riding them on scary, dirty, inner-city streets.
Plus, if we move a bike stands less chance of being stolen. Here is not such a good neighborhood for keeping a bike around. Here is a good neighborohood for locking up your crappy beater bike with the best lock available (worth more than the bike) and still having it disapear shortly there after.
I actually have a few last projects from OCAD that I haven’t posted. This one is pretty much one of my favourites.
It’s a personal uniform. A me-niform, if you will.
The goal of the assignment was to design a uniform for yourself that addresses your daily needs as well as your style and personality. Something you would be willing to wear everyday for the rest of your life, if necessary.
Rather than whip up something bland and utilitarian, I decided to go a more traditional route, and did some research on some of my favourite historical uniforms (namely, sailors suits, Pan-Am stewardess outfits, and the classic Girl Scout look). You can see that I chose to use such old fashioned elements as buttons and dresses and layers (rather than futuristic pockets, cyber-fabrics and embedded technology). I love vintage clothing, so why not incorporate my interests into my outfit? Plus, buttons are sturdier and last longer than other fasteners, and switching them out can instantly update a look.
When it came time to present, I turned my process sketches into a little magnetic paper doll so I could show how interchangeable and layerable my pieces were (I *heart* paper dolls soooooo much!!!).
Oh yeah, you know I got a good mark on this one.
As much as I love the quirkiness of Parkdale, (maximum saturation of galleries and artists, the proximity of the Price-chopper, the free entertainment of crazy people, the ability to satisfy my art supply fetish in a matter of minutes, multiple options for great roti, most of the people I know who live in Toronto within a 5 block radius, cheap beer) we’re pretty much definitely thinking about moving.
This is mostly because Liam’s job is exactly as far over on the opposite side of the city as it could be (while still able to take public transportation), and it’s just no fun for him to sit for an hour and a half on busses, trains, and trams.
Besides, most of the reason for living in this particular neighbourhood was because of it’s convenience for when I was attending OCAD… Since that’s not happening it calls for a reconsidering of things.
Because there are certainly some less fun Parkdale elements (the weekend partiers at the Drake, the closing in of condo monstrosities, the friendly neighbourhood crack-heads, the swingers club (yes, really) and just the general urban grittiness of it all). It was fun for a while, especially right after moving back from a small town and subsequently studying Graffiti on an academic level… But now I think we’re looking for a something that’s more us, more relaxed, more convenient, more walkable, more grown-up.
We actually found the PERFECT spot in the Beaches/Beach (close to some great little restaurants; a block away from the boardwalk and parks; beautiful, green, leafy, Victorian side streets; an ADORABLE independent food market that makes it’s own fresh juice and preserves; out of the way from – but in close proximity to – the trendiness of Leslieville, and the weekend chaos of the Beaches proper).
We’ve even found the perfect little old apartment building (old oak hardwood floors and newly renovated kitchens) – only problem being that the bigger apartment we want isn’t available right now.
So it’s down to the waiting game, I guess. Which I’m ok with.
The whole concept of moving makes me twitchy. Too many choices and responsibilities. I’m perfectly happy to put it off for a little while longer.
I’m pretty much firmly entrenched in a “Don’t look at me! I’m hiiiiideous!” moment in my life right now.
Don’t worry, it’s more a ugly on the inside that I’m feeling (not that I’m feeling top notch on the outside – but my haircut is growing out pretty cute, and I just got all dolled up for my cousins wedding last week, so my self esteem on that front is at least higher than it is low right now).
It’s mostly just a vast feeling of insecurity about my art skills. And the only reason I feel so insecure about them is because I, quite frankly, don’t feel much like flexing or using them these days.
I mean, look at that handsome man up there in the picture. You see that cute little tee he’s wearing? With the little retro teevee? Yep, that’s all me. I designed the little logo, and ironed it on to a colour co-ordinated shirt. I made it and it’s pretty awesome.
I do good work. Work that impresses people. They tell me so. I mean, we all know that the reason that I quit OCAD had nothing to do with marks (even if most people think it’s crazy to quit something you’re doing well at).
But for the past few months I’ve been having trouble actually doing any.
Work, that is.
I just can’t force myself to sit down and draw right now.
My brain won’t do it even though it also knows I won’t get any better, and indeed will actually start to go downhill in my suckage if I don’t pick up a pen to retain my hand/eye co-ordination (let alone my life drawing/proportion/line control skills).
Worst of all, I’m letting myself be totally intimidated by people who in other times would have simply inspired me.
There are the Team Machos of the world who balance incredible technical skill with mind-blowing creativity and an intensely obscure and mind-boggling sense of humour.
Not too long ago I got to sit in their studio, and sift through their work, and stare at their wall of wacky found art and inappropriate polaroids and pat their twenty three toed feral cat (named Punchy). Tell me that’s not completely overwhelming. And I got invited to come study with a member of the collective for a session or two – but I totally chickened out.
Then there’s all the Hopes, Roses, and Lucys of the world. Incredibly talented and incredibly YOUNG girls- way younger than me even, and they’ve all already graduated from incredible schools and had amazing jobs and/or published work and/or critical acclaim. And they’re girls in a (until very recently) incredibly male dominated industry. Way to rock that boat!
Which says nothing of how much I respect their drawing abilities – the strong, clean, beautiful and very personal images they create. I would give anything to be able to use line the way they do.
Although to be honest, I know I could do the same if I just WORKED at it.
But I let myself get intimidated instead.
In short: I suck!
I kinda knew that it was going to be even harder to motivate myself to work after dropping out of school than it was while was in school, so I could see this coming really (no terms or deadlines to encourage me – not that they ever really did a great job of doing that in the first place).
And I’m in this for the long run, so on the short term I feel like this is a moment in my life I will totally overcome.
But looking at the long term I know I’ve got to WORK to find a solution to this. I can’t just let this moping become my life.
Full disclosure: If I given the opportunity to “disappear” one of the too cute/perfect/design-oriented/creative/genius couples who frequent HGTV’s Small space: Big style, and then steal their identity, trendy neighbourhoods, and apartments I would do it without hesitation.
Also: Sarah Richardson makes me want to sell any babies I might have (someday) on the black market and hire her to coat my tiny rented apartment in carrera marble, mid century antiques and silk.
This is my souls way of telling me to stop watching HGTV.
Here’s why you should be my friend:
When you drop in on your way through town, I will feed you.
I will feed you a healthified, home-made lasagne (made with whole wheat pasta and low-fat mozzarella and lot’s of veggies) and followed not only by pie (strawberry rhubarb) but PIE FLAVOURED ICE CREAM (lemon meringue… ice cream… drooooool…).
If you can find lemon meringue flavoured ice cream where you live, you should go get it, because it is certainly the best ice cream invention of all time.
Plus, on top of all that, my cats are adorable.
the Sis on 